Hormotional- A new state of mind
With 5 weeks left until my due date, I'm calling my newest state of mind, "hormotional." Here's my definition for the word.
Hormotional: Adjective- Meaning, extremely emotional, hormonal, and sometimes downright bitchy. Recently, I've faced a lot more uncertainty than I originally planned on. And for a control freak like me, these unplanned decisions have me spinning into a hormotional spiral.
Over the past few months, I eventually came to terms that my pregnancy would be different from others because of the pandemic. I've accepted that there would be certain things we'd miss out on, like a baby shower, or shopping for the nursery, visits from friends and family, and even going alone to doctors appointments. But what I hadn't planned on was the pandemic and it's viral spread lasting this long.
I imagined by the time our baby got here, many restrictions would be lifted, and everything would start going back to normal. In many ways, certain restrictions have lifted in our small state of Montana. Restaurants can partially open soon, hair salons are slowly reopening, and small socially distanced visits are becoming acceptable. But, when it comes to bringing a new baby into the world, those restrictions are as tight as ever.
At this point, I accept that Dakota and I will be the only two people in the delivery room. I'm ok with it! Even though I always imagined my mom would also be there beside me. But as long as he can be there with me, I will be okay.
However, now we're faced with a different problem that most pre-pandemic parents never had to think about. Soon, we will have to make the gut wrenching decision of, "Do we wait until this virus passes before anyone can meet the baby?" The plan all along has been to have my mom come out from California & help us out for a month while we get the hang of parenting. I'm extremely close with my mom, and it breaks my heart to even think about her & our baby's other grandparents not being around in the beginning. But now we have to consider COVID-19 exposure, and postponing all Grandparents from visiting until there's a vaccine, or until the virus is under control.
Newborns are especially susceptible to illness and infections because of their weak immune systems, so we need to think about what's best for our baby. We will obviously be having extensive conversations about this topic with our doctor, but the fact of the matter is that it's a strong possibility that Dakota and I will have to isolate from everyone, including grandparents, until the baby is vaccinated or until our nation has the virus under control.
I've tried to be so strong throughout this process, but it's not always easy, and sometimes I just need to type my feelings out. It's felt so incredibly isolating to go through a large majority of my pregnancy without a warm hug from my mom, or a visit from a friend. Sharing my feelings with my followers has been one way that helps me feel connected, so thank you for listening to me.
Above all of these worries and dilemmas, I know how incredibly blessed I am to have a baby. There's so many that I know that struggle for the same experience. For those of you who have experienced infertility, or loss of a child, my heart and prayers are always with you. Please reach out if you ever need a prayer warrior or just someone to talk to.
Thanks for listening friends,
Love, Lex
Picture by: Sara Nagel Photography
Hormotional: Adjective- Meaning, extremely emotional, hormonal, and sometimes downright bitchy. Recently, I've faced a lot more uncertainty than I originally planned on. And for a control freak like me, these unplanned decisions have me spinning into a hormotional spiral.
Over the past few months, I eventually came to terms that my pregnancy would be different from others because of the pandemic. I've accepted that there would be certain things we'd miss out on, like a baby shower, or shopping for the nursery, visits from friends and family, and even going alone to doctors appointments. But what I hadn't planned on was the pandemic and it's viral spread lasting this long.
I imagined by the time our baby got here, many restrictions would be lifted, and everything would start going back to normal. In many ways, certain restrictions have lifted in our small state of Montana. Restaurants can partially open soon, hair salons are slowly reopening, and small socially distanced visits are becoming acceptable. But, when it comes to bringing a new baby into the world, those restrictions are as tight as ever.
At this point, I accept that Dakota and I will be the only two people in the delivery room. I'm ok with it! Even though I always imagined my mom would also be there beside me. But as long as he can be there with me, I will be okay.
However, now we're faced with a different problem that most pre-pandemic parents never had to think about. Soon, we will have to make the gut wrenching decision of, "Do we wait until this virus passes before anyone can meet the baby?" The plan all along has been to have my mom come out from California & help us out for a month while we get the hang of parenting. I'm extremely close with my mom, and it breaks my heart to even think about her & our baby's other grandparents not being around in the beginning. But now we have to consider COVID-19 exposure, and postponing all Grandparents from visiting until there's a vaccine, or until the virus is under control.
Newborns are especially susceptible to illness and infections because of their weak immune systems, so we need to think about what's best for our baby. We will obviously be having extensive conversations about this topic with our doctor, but the fact of the matter is that it's a strong possibility that Dakota and I will have to isolate from everyone, including grandparents, until the baby is vaccinated or until our nation has the virus under control.
I've tried to be so strong throughout this process, but it's not always easy, and sometimes I just need to type my feelings out. It's felt so incredibly isolating to go through a large majority of my pregnancy without a warm hug from my mom, or a visit from a friend. Sharing my feelings with my followers has been one way that helps me feel connected, so thank you for listening to me.
Above all of these worries and dilemmas, I know how incredibly blessed I am to have a baby. There's so many that I know that struggle for the same experience. For those of you who have experienced infertility, or loss of a child, my heart and prayers are always with you. Please reach out if you ever need a prayer warrior or just someone to talk to.
Thanks for listening friends,
Love, Lex
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