To Those Who Understand- Thank You


In just over 3 weeks, we will become parents. That in itself is a huge deal. From then on, our hearts will live outside of our bodies. We will finally understand what everyone tells you about bringing a child into the world.

As I mentioned in my last blog, the range of emotions and hormones has left me feeling nothing short of my new favorite mom word, 'hormotional.' I'm sure that's normal though, and something most moms, and even some dads start to feel as everything suddenly becomes real.

Our bags are 'mostly' packed, diaper bag ready, and birth plan in place. Now it's essentially a waiting game. We're finishing up our online childbirth classes which I must say are quite informational and sometimes entertaining. But in between the waiting and the classes, we've unfortunately had to think about how we're going to handle life after baby's birth.

I don't mean thinking and planning about the lack of sleep, feeding schedule, or just the overall changes a new baby is going to bring. I'm talking about how we're going to handle excited family members and friends who've waited just as long as we have to meet our child. That sentence sounds so bizarre, right? How we're going to handle family and friends? That sentence shouldn't even have to exist.

I imagined welcoming our baby and having a waiting room full of excited visitors. They would say, "How much did baby weigh!? How is mom doing? Does baby look like Dad or Mom?" By now, we all know my vision had to change, and we can't have that type of birthing story. It's sad, but that's life. Though, what about when we get home from the hospital? Good friends will message us congratulations and ask us when they can meet our new little addition. But what are we supposed to say?

Normally, we'd say, "Come on by! We'd love for you to meet our little one." They'd hold our baby, and marvel at the miracle we created. Can we do this now? I think we all know the answer to that. No, because of the high risk of COVID-19 spreading to our baby.

So what do we tell them? We'd love for you to meet baby, but right now, our doctor does not recommend visitors due to the high risk of catching the deadly virus sweeping our world. We hope and pray it changes soon so you can meet baby M and be apart of our new little miracle's life.

Most people will understand. They will ask to FaceTime instead, or drop off a hot meal on our doorstep. For those of you who understand, a big heartfelt and sincere, thank you. You have no idea how much we appreciate knowing we won't disappoint you.

It's unfortunate, but we're prepared to hear scrutiny from some about following the doctor's recommendation. We already have. We know the hurt feelings come from a good place, which is wanting to be a part of our child's life right away. We get it. Trust me, we're just as frustrated. But imagine the anxiety we feel knowing some will be upset with us for trying to keep our child safe.

Even talking about it makes us uneasy. We've tried to avoid the conversation a long time, but we need to be prepared to talk to our loved ones. We need to keep our baby healthy and listen to our doctor. She knows what's going to keep our child protected.

For those who don't understand, when it's your turn to have a baby, I pray you're never faced with the compromises we're having to make. 


I pray you can have a support person with you during appointments.

I pray you can celebrate with a normal baby shower.

I pray you can go out into public without fearing you'll get yourself and baby sick.

And I pray your birth experience can be as pleasant as it should be.


Though, if your child is born during a scary time, with a health issue, or you just simply don't feel comfortable having visitors for awhile, know that we will understand your decision to keep your child safe.

Again, thank you to all of our family and friends who've expressed their love and empathy for our situation. Just know that we want nothing more in the world than for you to be a part of our baby's life.


Love,

Lex




Photo by: Sara Nagel Photography

Comments

  1. Does this include immediate family? Have your parents, parents-in-law & siblings met your baby? Where is the line & do you have a quarantine requirement for them? Congrats on your baby.
    ❤️,
    A curious guest

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good for you. We are going through the same and I will 1000% relate to everything you just said.

    For us, only one person will be allowed in our house to watch our toddler while my husband and I will be in the hospital for my scheduled csection. We are asking them to quarantine for 2 weeks and possibly get tested before they are allowed into our house. And strictly no one else meets the baby until this madness ends.

    This applies for my parents, my in-laws, my siblings, close friends. Anyone. No exceptions. If you are offended, I’m very sorry but my baby’s health comes before your feelings.

    Are we going overboard? Maybe. But if somehow my newborn or my then 18 month old gets sick and has to be hospitalized or god forbid, something worse, I would never be able to forgive myself for letting people over just for a visit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good for you. We are going through the same and I will 1000% relate to everything you just said.

    For us, only one person will be allowed in our house to watch our toddler while my husband and I will be in the hospital for my scheduled csection. We are asking them to quarantine for 2 weeks and possibly get tested before they are allowed into our house. And strictly no one else meets the baby until this madness ends.

    This applies for my parents, my in-laws, my siblings, close friends. Anyone. No exceptions. If you are offended, I’m very sorry but my baby’s health comes before your feelings.

    Are we going overboard? Maybe. But if somehow my newborn or my then 18 month old gets sick and has to be hospitalized or god forbid, something worse, I would never be able to forgive myself for letting people over just for a visit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you so much for sharing exactly how I’ve felt for many months now. My in-laws have been so mad at us for simply asking they wear a mask when around people outside their household, for 10 days before holding the baby. You’d think we asked them to sacrifice their firstborn.

    ReplyDelete

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