Compromise

Hi all!

Sorry for my recent hiatus. I've been on the mend since my recent diagnosis, but I'm happy to say that I'm feeling much better. No more terrifying runs to the bathroom! Just kidding, those still happen.. just not as much, but it's all about baby steps right?

Dakota has been such a good sport with my health issues.. cooking, eating and living gluten free. It makes it so much easier to give up my passion for eating an entire loaf of garlic bread with dinner when he chooses not to eat one either. Don't get me wrong though, he can eat whatever he wants including gluten, but he tries to eat it when I'm not around. And to be honest, Dakota is the one who does most of our cooking. He can cook gluten free like a champ. Me, on the other hand, need some serious cooking help.

Other than the occasional celiac induced issues, Kota and I have been living a pretty normal (what really is normal?) marriage life. We have our ups and downs like any couple.. which brings me to my next blog topic, compromise in marriage. That means my way or the highway doesn't work anymore.. dammit.

Kota and I have struggled with finding a balance between our own wants & needs even before our marriage. Sometimes what I want isn't always what he wants nor is it in the best interest of the both of us.

Sometimes I can be selfish. I know, that's really hard to believe coming from me.. (insert sarcasm). We both can. It's not always easy putting each other first before our own selfish wants/needs. We know we need to, but it's a hard habit to break.. being selfish that is, especially because we live in such a self centered society..

Our latest compromise has to do with getting a dog. We both want a dog (yay, that's a start), but we can't agree on a breed or when we should get it. I've always wanted a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.. ever since I was a kid. However, my husband's feelings are not mutual.. He also wants to wait until summer, even though I want one now.

In MY perfect world, we'd be getting a Cavalier and we'd be getting it tomorrow. Sadly, the world doesn't revolve around me. I should be loving & accepting of my husbands wishes to wait for a dog and to mutually agree on a breed.. but am I? I'll let you guess..

I've been harassing him every other day sending Cavalier puppy pictures to his phone and email. Every dinner conversation for the past week has consisted of me bringing up the litter of cavalier puppies that I want to get this month. Is it fair that I'm doing this to him? Not really.. and I'm really getting on his nerves.

He's always been my voice of reason when I act impulsively. And he's right, it is probably smarter to wait to get a dog closer to summer so I could be home with it to work on potty training. It's also unfair that I'm not giving him a say in the type of dog we get.. But then why can't I let this go?

In the words of Ms. Norbury from Mean Girls, "I'm a pusher. I push people." I push my husband into a lot of things, not all bad things.. but in this situation I'm pushing him into a selfish idea that I want to go my way.

It's taken a few days of self reflection to truly understand that pushing my husband into getting a Cavalier now isn't in his best interest. I've realized that maybe someday he'll be okay getting one because it's on my bucket list, but if it's not our first dog it will be okay. I want him to be happy too.

I guess that's how we need to handle every situation that entails a compromise. Take a step back and ask ourselves, "Am I being selfish? Is this in the best interest of my partner too?" If it's not, go back to the drawing board. Find a compromise that will make everyone happy. A week of self reflection is how long it took me to finally figure it out.

So if we don't get a Cavalier, maybe Kota will be more open to getting a dog before summer..Who knows! You might be seeing a little fur-ball join our family soon..

So stay tuned!

Love, Lex